Get all 5 Shannon Hawley releases available on Bandcamp and save 10%.
Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of STARTHROWERS, Walk Each Other Home, Mercy, Our History, and A Different Kind of Progress.
Excludes supporter-only releases.
1. |
Our History
04:49
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I want to know what this patch of grass was.
I wanna know what this patch of grass was
Before the fertilizer fell
Your plump fingers tug at the roots
You splash the puddles with your mud boots
In the heaves, the winter left behind
Maybe you’ll be afraid
You won’t know why
Of sirens singing in the streets
Those ladders coiled in your sweet body
They hold the secrets, spin the stories
Of how our history was made
I wanna know what this gasoline was
I wanna know what this gasoline was
When it lived at the bottom of the sea
With windows down we ride to the beach
Saltwater licks and kisses bare feet
In the waves that traveled a million miles just to crash
Maybe you’ll feel something
You won’t know why
A certain longing for the deep
Those ladders coiled in your sweet body
They hold the secrets, spin the stories
Of how our history is made
There’s a woman that you never met
She’s tucked down deep inside your bones
They break down and then they build again
Climb the ladder that your body knows
Now the sirens calling from the deep
And the ambulances on the street
And the street laid on the ground for you
And the ball of fire underneath
We’re always living with the dead, ya know
We’re always living with the dead you know
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2. |
Mercy
04:31
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Mercy
Before I died too young
My heart was aching
For all the women
My knees were shaking
Before they buckled
I was starving
Trying to lose that baby weight
Oh come here darlin
Before I was a mother
I was just a girl
Just doing my figuring
Figuring how to fit into this swirl
That was not the way
To stay forever young
But that is what they taught me
Now the damage it is done
I could use some mercy on my soul tonight
Gotta leave these children
Gotta leave them both behind
By the grace, oh by the grace
I am listening
You are not alone
Can you hear me singing?
Before I died too young
My fists were swinging
So angry and undone
My wounds were stinging
Before I got em
I knew how to cry,
I knew how to love
I didn’t want to die young
Before I was a father
I was just a boy a boy who loved his mother
A boy who loved the world
I wanted to stay, to stay forever young
Was never meant to happen
Now the damage it is done
I could use some mercy on my soul tonight
Gotta leave these children
Gotta leave them all behind
By the grace, oh by the grace
I am listening
You are not alone
Can you hear me singing
Remember who you are
You’re more than your scars
Remember who you are
Before you die to
And stay forever young
I could use some mercy on my soul tonight
I could use some mercy tonight
Gotta leave them all behind
By the grace, oh by the grace
I am listening
You are not alone
Can you hear me singing
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3. |
Lights in Holland
03:10
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Your adventures in the black forest
is where you begin, you buried your lover’s
name on paper in the ground. A secret the cold
earth would hold for you, to keep it so safe and
so very sound.
Now your hiding human secrets behind
black curtains in your living room. All the
shelves in town are bare, it’s the coldest
winter, War’s declared. Little boy with a
rucksack, before he was gone he was there.
But the night the lights go on in Holland
dear, will be the night the light shines on
us all, on us all. The night the lights go
on in Holland dear, reminds that even tyrants
rule then they fall, they fall.
They took your husband away, a mix up
with his official papers so you got on your
bicycle. You rode nine miles to see him
and of course you couldn’t free him. On
your way home is when you took your nasty fall.
You had a babe within,though you weren’t sure
she was determined to be born, to be born
of this world. Hiding there in your womb,
though desperation did loom. To all this
suffering there is an end.
The night the lights go on in Holland
dear, will be the night the light shines on
us all, on us all. The night the lights go
on in Holland dear, reminds that even tyrants
rule then they fall, they fall.
That’s when you learned to come together in the
darkness and to save your tender parts for tender
times. In the sky cigarettes and rations falling
and the doctor he is calling, it is time.
It is time.
The night the lights came on in Holland dear,
was the night your sweet baby was born.
The night the lights went on
in Holland dear. Reminds that even tyrants rule then they fall.
And the there is hope, hope, hope for us all.
The night the lights came on in Holland dear,
was the night your sweet baby was born.
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4. |
Riverine
02:40
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What am I made of?
The clay where I came from
The muck by the riverbed
The carp when I speared him dead
What did you teach me?
Everything a little girl could see
From my window, your silhouette
The glass hadn’t shattered yet
Riverine
Riverine
You made a killer
You made a killer out of me
Who do I love now?
What are we dredging up?
A child I still carry around
The water it keeps rising up
Riverine
Riverine
You made a killer
You made a killer out of me
Kitten’s out of the bag though
Please say we're not our worst mistake
That water it’s still lodged in my lungs
River change it’s course
What will it take?
Riverine
Riverine
Riverine
You made a woman
You made a woman out of me
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5. |
STARTHROWERS
05:07
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Door’s always open and the door’s always broken
Don’t know how to fix it anyway
We’ll welcome you in
We’ll make you feel at home
Even though we’ll never feel that way
All things possible, nothing’s safe
World’s can crumble in an instant
Now you’re stuck here
Just trying to survive
In the house of the living
When he who hung the moon goes away
When he who hung the moon goes away
It’s gonna be (it’s gonna be alright)
It’s gonna be (there’s gonna be no tide for awhile)
It’s gonna be, it’s gonna be just fine
It’s gonna be
Gonna be such a long dark night
Put on your uniform, get to church
And pray those questions no one hears
Come on home, sing with you sisters
Sing for your mother, dear
Get down to the ocean
You’ll see the light reflecting
You better jump in and start swimming
Now you’re stuck here
Just trying to survive
In the land of the living
When he who hung the moon goes away
When he who hung the moon goes away
It’s gonna be (it’s gonna be alright)
It’s gonna be (there’s gonna be no tide for awhile)
It’s gonna be,, it’s gonna be just fine
It’s gonna be
Gonna be such a long dark night
Before it's a bright bright day again
Before you feel the sunshine on your face again
But you’re going to feel the sunshine on your face again
And it’s been such a long time since he went away
Always close the the ache
But you’re not afraid of the wave that breaks
Anymore
We are starthrowers
We are ghost holders
We are child growers
We are both world knowers now
We are starthrowers
We are ghost holders
We are child growers
We are both world knowers now
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6. |
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When I was a girl I went walking in the woods
Dancing with my sisters and the salamanders
Skinning both my knees and singing through the pain
I called it paradise, yeah, I gave it that name
We are bones, blood, saltwater, and song
We bones, blood, saltwater, and song
When I fell in love, it was to the drumming of the ocean
Yeah you broke my heart wide open there
And our love became, me combing your thin hair
And taking such good care of the body you had left
We are bones, blood, saltwater, and song
We bones, blood, saltwater, and song
Coming home from work to these children that we made
And I’m singing them your song everyday
Nearly lost my own voice just listening for your ghost
But I know what i love, it’s what I’m going to miss the most
We are bones, blood, saltwater, and song
We bones, blood, saltwater, and song
And i thought this cave of pain was gonna swallow me whole
As the storm came threatening
And I had to learn to live on the sliver of light from the cloud’s silver lining
And I’m giving more than I’m getting just like the moss under my feet
And I’m thinking that maybe I can shine just like it but
We are bones, blood, saltwater, and song
We bones, blood, saltwater, and song
Now I’m holding this sweet babe, with my story in his bones
And he’s swallowing the light and bubbling back to me
I thought it was the story, I thought it was the song
Now I know it’s the singing, it keeps saving me
We are bones, blood, saltwater, and song
We bones, blood, saltwater, and song
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7. |
Radium Girls
03:43
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Busy in the backyard
Growing basil, pluck tomatoes from the vine
Simmer them soft
make the gravy, feed the family at dinnertime
When I was called to duty
I fell in happily with my brave sisters on the line
We painted so precisely the glowing dials on watches
How delicate the face of time
In a past life, we were radium girls
And our hair used to glow
From a different type of halo
With all the good men overseas
Silhouettes of smokestacks, girls in factories
We found the undark in the work
We tipped that brush onto our tongue
Ingested tiny drops of poison
Some of those girls painted their toes and fingernails
To make their nights, light up like the day
The brighter, the luminescence, the faster the decay
When I looked down the line
My sisters, disappearing, one by one, their bright faces gone
Their crumbling jaws exposing, the ugliness of war
How delicate the face of time
In a past life, we were radium girls
And our hair used to glow
From a different type of halo
With all the good men overseas
But the death toll rising here
Silhouettes of smokestacks and factories
Why did I survive and is the poison buried deep inside my family’s bones
And if I sing their sins
Will you turn it into medicine
Oh what will break the spell
I wanna know
In a past life we were radium girls
And our hair used to glow
From a different type of halo
With all the good men over seas
Silhouettes of smokestacks, ghosts in factories
We were the light in darker days
We tipped that brush onto our tongue
We tried to keep you all so safe from harm
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8. |
Aunt Honey
03:50
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My bonnie lies over the ocean, my bonnie lies over the sea
My bonnie lies with another warm body, not beside me
When I was born to this brightness, I ached for my mother’s heartbeat
Now I’m wailing again like a baby, naked and sweet
I’ll put on my fancy dresses, I wear my fancy hat
I’ll dance at all the swell parties without him, how about that
I fought so hard in the same war that led him to her
Decoding all enemy secrets to use against them later
I cared for a boy, a child, not my own
Who’s mother’s heart stopped near the ocean
And we’ll nurse our grief til it’s gone
So come drink the honey
I’ve been collecting for you
I’ll share it just when you need it
Like my kind do
We do
I’ll watch him long for his pretty mother
I’ll make him smile, along with his brother
I’ll hold him tight, and he’ll hold me back
I’ll help him fight the battle in his heart the war in his head
How can we know, what sweetness will come
Or if it will come at all
Who might it come from
So come taste the honey I’ve been collecting for you
I'll share it just when you need it
Like my kind do
We do
Please don’t bring back my bonnie,but I wish you’d let that boy stay
I’ve got my sister to cry with, his children, in the ocean they play
Don’t you feel sorry for the old maid
With all that heartache you can taste all the nectar I’ve saved
So come drink the honey
I’ve been collecting for you
I’ll share it just when you need it
Like my kind do
We do
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9. |
Love Warriors
05:01
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I don’t know if I’m going to make it here
I’ve got all this coming at me
And it’s feeding all my fears
Every story in the newspaper
Every advertisement on the screen
They don’t look or act like me
Or at least not who I want to be
I want to run from it all
I want to try to disappear
But a still small voice is keeping me here
Maybe I’m a love warrior
Love Warrior
Maybe I’m a love warrior
I’m so hungry from always starving myself
Of everything I know I need
Of who I’m really meant to be
What if I’m the one
That I’ve been waiting for
All this crying on the bathroom floor
Oh that tile feels so nice and cool
What if every miracle
Starts just like this
With all of this unlearning
A reckoning
What if I’m a love warrior
Love Warrior
What if I’m a love warrior
Now I’m finding all these words
Just like prayers that were meant for me
Little whispers in my little ear
‘Til it’s my own voice that I hear
I’m thinking maybe
If I can do the next right thing
Oh, just what is right in front of me, sister
Maybe I was born just for this then
First the revelation, then the revolution
First the pain and waiting
Then the Rising
I am a love warrior
Love Warrior
I am a love warrior
And if we’re gonna rise up
We’re going to do it laughing and singing
We’re going to do it dancing and howling
With our wolf-pack
Through this brutiful life
And if there is so such thing
There is no such thing as “other people’s” children
Then there is no such thing as other people’s fathers and mothers
And sisters and brother’s
Aren’t we all son and daughters and everything in between
We belong to each other
We can do hard things together
We are love warriors
We are love warriors
Love Warriors
We are love warriors
First the revelation
Then the revolution
First the pain and waiting
Then the rising
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10. |
Walk Each Other Home
03:02
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Maybe the earth is turning
From the women
All their yearning
Maybe the throats that hummed us
All to life
Will sing the words
Murmurations in the sky
Change direction, feathers glide
The canaries in the mine
They will fly out right on time
When the smoke clears
From the flame
That’s been burning this old game
We’ve been playing for so long
Now it’s time to
Walk Each Other Home
With all the songs and stories
Lived but untold
With all the love been given
Spinning poison to gold
With all the babes cries answered
And the sick ones taken care of
Ancestors prayers all answered
By the earth we’ve walked upon
Murmurations in the sky
Change direction, feathers glide
The canaries in the mine
They will fly out right on time
When the smoke clears
From the flame
That’s been burning this old game
We’ve been playing for so long
Now it’s time to
Walk Each Other Home
With all the mycelium connecting the trees
And all the branches reaching
The sky for us to breathe
With all the black holes spawning
The stars all along
And all the light within us
Finally being shown
Shown
Maybe the earth is turning
From the women
All their yearning
Maybe the throats that hummed us
All to life
Will sing the words
Murmurations in the sky
Change direction, feathers glide
The canaries in the mine
They will fly out right on time
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Shannon Hawley New Jersey
Shannon Hawley is a singer-songwriter and healer.
Her album STARTHROWERS is a memoir in
song paying homage to women and caretakers doing the invisible, often overlooked work of love. With a clear voice and deep New Jersey roots, Shannon alternates between the anthemic and the understated, across themes of grief and praise, our relationships to our history, the natural world, and to each other.
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